I have always loved the way your hand rests on my inner thigh as you’d drive the car. Oh, how you always knew how to take command of us and lead me where you wanted to go. With you I have always felt safe, especially in the car. You’d feel me tense up under your palm when we would merge onto the highway. Cars would fly by us at dizzying rates and yet, somehow you would play it cool and keep me calm every moment of the way. Oh, how I miss that feeling of complete security.
My love, today I drove our car for the second time in this new city. Driving feels so strange now. I have to focus but the brain fog makes my head feel fuzzy sometimes so I try not to venture too far from home. My mother accidentally tossed away your cell phone holder so we got another one to replace it. I know how much you like having one, and you showed me the value of having your hands free in the car. But, I confess that I’m not as skilled as you in assembling things. This phone holder came with three main parts to put together. Yet, somehow…. I got it connected to the car but the mount part is wobbly. I might end up using duct tape. You always told me that duct tape can fix anything. 😉
So, I drove our car. I will always call it our car even though I had to file paperwork to make it solely mine. That was strange. But, I did it and I know you are proud of me for jumping through all the legal hoops. But I digress. As I drove today I felt you with me. I felt you riding by my side as we wound around the two lane road. Tall trees lined the road and I saw a multitude of colors ringing in Fall. It’s our favorite time of the year, baby. Well, second to Christmas time. I hope you enjoyed our drive. I made it to the local library all by myself today. You would always take the family every Saturday to the library to check out books, and now the task rests on my shoulders to make sure that kiddo and I have books to keep reading. And so, I will.
I crave the feeling of your warm hand upon my thigh. I crave listening to music as we go for a drive together. I crave the feeling of putting the windows down (like we always did), and glancing over at you just to admire your handsome face. Every ounce of me longs to just go for another drive again. Maybe that will be a date for us here in the near future when the rain stops. Until then, let’s snuggle up together. It’s a cold night and so that is the perfect snuggle weather. It’s the time of year to curl up under warm blankets and watch a movie or read. Hold me, my darling, as I nestle up and think of you. Speak to my soul because I’m always open, quiet, and listening for your whispers.
My love for you is endless and eternal. I can’t wait to talk again, my love.