Formal Dates with Hubby

Date #2: Extinct & Up in the Air [Movie Date]

Time is fleeting. No one is ever guarantied enough time. I was reading a book called “My Wynter Season” recently, (from a fellow widow), and he wrote the line: “… but the love between my wife and I is eternal. And I realized after I had lost her that our relationship didn’t end. The earthly chapter had ended, and a new chapter had begun”. That’s exactly how I feel about my husband and I. Our love is eternal. For 10 magical years we were here together on earth. Now he waits for me in heaven where I will return to him one day. Until then, we are in the next chapter of our story.

I’d like to call this chapter: The Transitionary Time.

This is the time in between here and there where we are together, but a thin veil separates us from one another. There are times when my husband’s presence is so near and I can feel his warmth. There are other times when the depression sinks into my bones and he feels so far away (even though I know he never leaves me). Ultimately, we are all mortal, and so each passing day is one more step towards reuniting with my love. That said, in another book I purchased recently called, “What to Do When Your Soulmate Dies”, Dr. Alan Wolfelt suggests that we mourn heroically just as much as we celebrated our love as intensely. For me, I know that my husband is still with me. Therefore, I choose to grieve with the purpose of dating him still… even if in non-traditional ways. This is my “heroic” way of honoring our love. I choose to date my husband, even after his earthly passing, because I am forever a wife… not a widow. <3

Last night I had a movie date with my husband. Our little trio of a family always loved to pile in the living room together and watch movies. It has been our favorite thing to do for years. So, last night it felt like “old times” when my daughter and I flopped on the bed, turned on the TV, and I spoke aloud to my husband: “Come hold me, handsome”. I know he became my big spoon in that moment. We decided to kick things off with the movie, “Extinct” (on Netflix U.S.) because animated movies are always a good, lighthearted choice.


The movie is about a quirky group of species called the flummels. They are donut-looking cats who live on an island of flowers. Op and Ed are the main characters who always seem to get into mischief when the rest of the flummels fall in line and do their jobs. It’s a sweet, heartfelt story about standing out and embracing your own person. I highly recommend it.

Then we wrapped up the night with the deeper movie, “Up in the Air” (Netflix U.S.) starring George Clooney and Anna Kendrick. In the movie, the duo work for a company who is a third party company designed to help fire corporate workers so the bosses don’t have to. Anna Kendrick is the new employee, fresh out of college, and winds up at the job after following a boy to Omaha, Nebraska (only to be broken up with shortly thereafter). She hates the job and feels awful being responsible for seeing people miserable day after day as she has to break the news to them about being terminated from their company. George Clooney is the veteran worker who discovers that somewhere over the many miles flown around the country year after year…. he missed out on embracing life and time. It’s a deep movie with plenty of food for thought to ponder afterwards. The star-studded duo make for great on-screen dynamics and it’s definitely a movie you don’t want to miss.

Dating your spouse from heaven isn’t easy. I’m not going to sit here and sugar-coat anything to you all. You’re going to feel lonely much of the time. You’re going to miss their touch with every fiber of your being. You’re going to wish you could date how you used to, and each day without them is a stark reminder that nothing is the same anymore. But… I’m a person who is determined to find one single ray of hope.

My hope is that this time right now is a lesson for my daughter to see. Her Daddy and I love each other so fiercely and intensely that even physical death can’t stop our love. We date non-traditionally because I know he is here with us. I know he laughed at the quirky flummels and nodded along with me at the importance of savoring time. I want her to see that sometimes in life things will completely upend your life in the blink of an eye. Sometimes you can stop it, and other times you can’t. But, if you can’t…. you can choose to pivot and do what you can to make things not-as-painful.

I will have all of eternity to rest in the arms of my love one day. For now, we will date, dance, and soak up time. Have a wonderful night everyone. x

Formal Dates with Hubby

Date #1: Love is Blind (Season 3)

Hello Sweetheart,

Can I just say that you’ve always been so sweet and accommodating with my desire to watch reality TV? Though you are a sci-fi kind of guy, (and yes, admittedly you got me really into the Marvel movies and Star Wars), you have been so understanding and patient as we have watched reality show after reality show. So, tonight was no different as we carried on this tradition together by watching the first episode of “Love is Blind” season 3.

Darling, do you remember when our love was “blind”? We met on the MMORPG “Guild Wars 2” and I was unsure about you at first because your character was a GIRL! (lol!) That still makes me chuckle. You finally changed your character to be a guy after I said that I wanted to see you design a male character. And thus, Captain Taliron Quinn was born. In many ways, like the contestants on this show, our love was blind at first. We spoke online for several months before we began talking on the phone. Do you remember that first night when we spoke on the phone? I know I do!

We finally got the courage to exchange phone numbers and you wanted me to call you. Oh, how my heart was racing! I remember having sweaty palms as I dialed your phone number because I had no idea what your voice was going to sound like. I wondered if you would like the way my voice sounded too. Then I heard your soft, melodic voice on the other end of the line. “Hello…” you answered and for a moment I paused. Your voice has always sounded sexy to me…. even to this day, babe. “Er, hey!” I squeaked and let out a nervous giggle.

Suddenly I heard a thud. Then a tumble, followed by, “oh s**t!”. (Little did I know, but you had dropped the phone because you were so surprised at how hot you thought my voice was!).

“Are you there??” you asked nervously as you scrambled for the phone. We ended up talking for hours. Our conversations have always flowed so seamlessly. Those easy conversations and the ability to talk and dive deep together is what has sustained us over these past 10 years.

Sweetheart, I know things are different now. Now we talk to each other from here… and from heaven. I pour my heart out to you and fall into a deep state of meditation to hear bits and pieces from you from above. But what you don’t realize, my love, is that those bits and pieces mean the world to me. You see, for the past 10 years we have been spoiled in the ability to talk all day long. You and I have stayed up until the wee hours of the morning just to resolve a disagreement, make up with passionate intimacy, and then fall asleep in each others’ arms. We have spoken on Discord while you are at work (shhh! 😉 ) as you have updated me on how your day is going. We have nestled together in bed, blinking together our mugs at tea time, and made it a daily habit to decompress together. In short, our marriage is built on a best friendship that we never took for granted. God gave us that gift of time and we soaked it up to the fullest. For that, I feel eternally thankful.

Now, we don’t have the luxury of having every waking moment to talk to each other. Our conversations ebb and flow differently. You still guard and protect me as you always have, but the context of our conversations are different now and that’s okay. I’m not afraid of our conversations being different because I know that our best friendship will sustain us until the Lord calls me home to you and Him one day.

My love, I feel thankful to be able to still speak and hear from you daily. I feel your love all around me. I feel your presence when I go to sleep at night. I mumble “good morning” to you before I peel open my eyes. And in the times when I feel like breaking down, I turn on old video clips that I have saved on our hard drive to hear that voice that won my heart 10 years ago.

Oh, bae. I hope you know that I am forever yours. Those dark eyes that have captivated my soul from the get-go are the ones that I look forward to coming home to. We always said to each other: you are my home. Home has taken on a new definition for me now. Home is now divided between the place that I am creating for our daughter to one day inherit and carry on with her husband and family, and the place that rests with the Lord…. which I long to join when it is my time.

This show asks contestants: Is love blind?

My response is: No. Lust is blind. Love is a verb. It is an action that takes hard work and commitment. It takes a desire to adapt, change, grow, and be honest with yourself and your partner. It is a journey that is cultivated through time and experience in a trusting relationship. At the center of that bond is God. Why? Because God’s language is love.

So, my amazing husband, when I say that I love you unconditionally and eternally… I mean that I love you in this life, and in the next where I pray to join you.

Forever yours,

Wifey XOXO