Letters to Hubby

Two Sides of the Same Mirror

Hello Sweetheart,

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I spoke to you a couple of days ago. I could feel your presence so near and hear you in the depths of my mind. I could feel that you miss me just as much as I miss you. How could you not? We are soulmates… forever yearning to be back together again. Do you remember that children’s book called, “The Missing Piece”? In it, a circle rolls along in life looking for its missing piece. Some pieces are too big. Others are too small. And still others don’t even want to try to fit into the circle’s life. And then, just as the circle was about to give up, it found its missing piece. That is you and I, my darling. You are my missing piece.

10 years ago I was that circle and like the missing piece you came to me and asked if you could try to fill the hole in my heart. You fit perfectly. That doesn’t mean our marriage was easy. No marriage is easy. We had our fair share of up’s and downs. We had moments when we made each other cry. We learned to apologize and do better the next time. We discovered a healthier and gentler way to communicate. We grew closer and thrived. Rolling along as one unified body we enjoyed raising our daughter together. 10 beautiful years. 10 magical years. The best 10 years of my life.

And now, my love, our circle looks a bit different. You are in Heaven and as a circle I am ever so slowly shrinking. No longer do I feel a void in my heart. You filled that ages ago. Instead, I feel a loneliness to be reunited with you once more. I know my time will come one day and it will be so glorious when it does. I ache for the Lord to give me a hug and wash away the pain of my time here on earth. There has been so much heartache and sorrow. It will be replaced with an eternal peace and contentment. And when He steps aside I know that I’ll gasp because there you’ll be, and forever we will be back together again.

So, for now, it’s okay to cry in loneliness. You’re my very best friend. When I speak to you and hear you in return I know I am speaking to a mirror. We are two halves of one whole just yearning to be back together again. Our time will come, my love. Hang on, I’m on my way. I love you eternally.

Forever Yours,


Letters to Hubby · Music

Reasons to Dance Again

Hello My Love,

There are times when your presence and voice comes through so clear, and there are other times where my soul is grasping to feel you near. I’m sure this is normal. I’m just thankful that we have been able to connect at all. It is a gift from God and I am humbled by His mercy and love.

You and I have always loved music. I smile even now when I remember the story about the band, Nightwish. Do you remember that memory? You and I had just met and we were talking online. There was an initial connection but we hadn’t yet met in person to solidify the chemistry that we were feeling. We were still feeling each other out and learning what our interests are. You and I both lit up when the conversation rolled around to discussing music. “I love all kinds!” I blurted out to you excitedly. “Me too” you gushed on the other end of the phone. I rambled on about loving 80’s music and how the Backstreet Boys will always be a major crush of mine. You laughed and understood (since we are the exact same age). You asked me what my favorite band of all time was and I had to pause and think about it. I remember whining about the difficulty of having to choose just one!

Finally I grinned and said, “Nightwish! I absolutely LOVE the song, ‘Amaranth'”. They are a glam-rock band that you had never heard of, but without missing a beat you said that you liked them too. You heard me nearly squeal with excitement at having another common interest. Little did I know, but you had never heard of them. Later that night after our call you had stayed up all night listening to their music. You especially memorized my favorite song just so that you could impress me. You also fell in love with their music along the way. You would tell me this story several years later after we got married. I belly laughed so hard hearing about the lengths you went to just to impress me. I still melt remembering this story.

Oh my darling, my love for you is endless and eternal. You have and will always be my soulmate, best friend, my husband, and my rock. Since your soul departed your “shell” (as kiddo and I call it), I confess that it has been really difficult to listen to any music. I tried that first week because I was so used to listening to music but I ended up crying my eyes out and had to turn it off. But, the other day I decided to try again. I turned on the song, “Breathe” by Michelle Branch. There is a line in the song that says:

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I’ll know everything is alright
Every little piece of me
You’ll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe

It was everything I needed to hear in that moment. I threw my arms up in the air and twirled around in my bedroom. Suddenly I heard your voice so clear, as if you were right next to my ear:

“Dance for me, beautiful”.

I gasped and stopped for a moment. Then, knowing it was you, I busted out dancing with a smile on my face. I will always dance for you, my love. Always! Thank you for staying with me and watching over kiddo and I from above. I love dating you. You are… everything.

Never forget that each day I wake up I’m slowly walking towards you. One day we will be reunited again in heaven and then we will touch. Our fingertips will slip together once more and we shall dance… and dance…. and dance!

Forever yours,

Wifey xoxoxo

Letters to Hubby

Learning to Drive

Hello Sweetheart,

I have always loved the way your hand rests on my inner thigh as you’d drive the car. Oh, how you always knew how to take command of us and lead me where you wanted to go. With you I have always felt safe, especially in the car. You’d feel me tense up under your palm when we would merge onto the highway. Cars would fly by us at dizzying rates and yet, somehow you would play it cool and keep me calm every moment of the way. Oh, how I miss that feeling of complete security.

My love, today I drove our car for the second time in this new city. Driving feels so strange now. I have to focus but the brain fog makes my head feel fuzzy sometimes so I try not to venture too far from home. My mother accidentally tossed away your cell phone holder so we got another one to replace it. I know how much you like having one, and you showed me the value of having your hands free in the car. But, I confess that I’m not as skilled as you in assembling things. This phone holder came with three main parts to put together. Yet, somehow…. I got it connected to the car but the mount part is wobbly. I might end up using duct tape. You always told me that duct tape can fix anything. 😉

So, I drove our car. I will always call it our car even though I had to file paperwork to make it solely mine. That was strange. But, I did it and I know you are proud of me for jumping through all the legal hoops. But I digress. As I drove today I felt you with me. I felt you riding by my side as we wound around the two lane road. Tall trees lined the road and I saw a multitude of colors ringing in Fall. It’s our favorite time of the year, baby. Well, second to Christmas time. I hope you enjoyed our drive. I made it to the local library all by myself today. You would always take the family every Saturday to the library to check out books, and now the task rests on my shoulders to make sure that kiddo and I have books to keep reading. And so, I will.

I crave the feeling of your warm hand upon my thigh. I crave listening to music as we go for a drive together. I crave the feeling of putting the windows down (like we always did), and glancing over at you just to admire your handsome face. Every ounce of me longs to just go for another drive again. Maybe that will be a date for us here in the near future when the rain stops. Until then, let’s snuggle up together. It’s a cold night and so that is the perfect snuggle weather. It’s the time of year to curl up under warm blankets and watch a movie or read. Hold me, my darling, as I nestle up and think of you. Speak to my soul because I’m always open, quiet, and listening for your whispers.

My love for you is endless and eternal. I can’t wait to talk again, my love.

Forever yours,

Wifey xoxo